Mourning for loved ones

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How does one mourn for the loss of a loved one? This question is one of those questions that cannot be answered at a drop of a hat. 

I've lost both of my parents at a very young age and believe me when I say that one cannot answer the previous question at a drop of a hat, I still do not know how to. 

In my personal experience, With my father it was different since I did not know him that well, and it took me time to actually believe that the man who took part in my creation has passed on. The very same year I lost my Mother, my Queen, my everything! I did not get time to grieve properly since I was writing final exams at University. 

That year has to be the hardest year of my life. I experienced worst things but losing my parents has to be the hardest thus far. Back to the question I have posed. We mourn in different ways, our culture and/or religion contributes greatly to how we mourn. At home, we do not have any cultural practices that constitute to the grieving process. I had to go through this on my own as I was not that religious during this hard phase of my life. My family was there but I felt alone and not needed. I felt that nobody understood what I was going though and I got detached from people in the process. I am sure you're wondering why am I writing about this now?!? Today I received the news that one of my former colleagues has passed on. The first thing that came into my mind was her kids and how much I loved this woman. She was a great person, I loved her dearly and she taught me a lot about myself. I hope her kids receive the right help as they go through this. 


According to McCambridge and Doka These are the ways to claim your right to grieve:

1. Recognize that there is nothing wrong with you. Whatever your feelings are, they're legitimate. 
2. Find people who will understand. Search online—there are bereavement support groups for just about any type of loss.
3. Be honest about how you feel. If a well-meaning friend cracks a joke about your deceased ex-husband, says Doka, soberly explain that this loss is painful for you.
4. Develop a ritual or ceremony to commemorate the person's passing. Visit the grave after the funeral—or hold a private one—when you can take as much time as you need to express your anguish. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Healthy-Ways-to-Mourn-Disenfranchised-Grief#ixzz2jyFnLKkC